For me, it showed up in the marriage I’m now untangling myself from. Twenty‑one years of being the one who adjusted, accommodated, absorbed. Twenty‑one years of saying yes when my whole body was screaming no. Twenty‑one years of being “easy to have around” because the alternative — being honest, being messy, being human — felt like a risk I couldn’t afford.
And then he stepped out. And I realized I had disappeared so thoroughly inside the relationship that he didn’t even notice the parts of me that were missing.
This is the experience of so many of us. Thanks for sharing this. I am sure many can relate. There’s another way of coming back to yourself and finally become the one you were before you had to adapt because your nervous system had to protect you and still are.
For me, it showed up in the marriage I’m now untangling myself from. Twenty‑one years of being the one who adjusted, accommodated, absorbed. Twenty‑one years of saying yes when my whole body was screaming no. Twenty‑one years of being “easy to have around” because the alternative — being honest, being messy, being human — felt like a risk I couldn’t afford.
And then he stepped out. And I realized I had disappeared so thoroughly inside the relationship that he didn’t even notice the parts of me that were missing.
This is the experience of so many of us. Thanks for sharing this. I am sure many can relate. There’s another way of coming back to yourself and finally become the one you were before you had to adapt because your nervous system had to protect you and still are.